[aclug-L] Millennium Pie

[The Kurgan <Kurgan@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

 Millennium Pie (with apologies to Don McLean)
               A long, long time ago...
        I can still remember how
        Computers used to make me smile.
        And I knew if I had my chance,
        That I could make electrons dance,
        And maybe I'd be happy for a while.
               But January made me shiver,
        it chilled me deep down in my liver,
        Bad news I'd collected...
        I couldn't get connected.
               I can't remember back that day
        When I first knew the Y2K
        But something touched me anyway,
        The day computers died.
               So, ...Bye, bye to the digits
        of Pi, Ran my PC on some DC but the
        voltage was dry. And good ol' boys were sending
        e-mail replies
              Saying this will be the day that they
        die...this will be the day that they die
              Can you write in C plus plus?
        And do you have faith in your local bus
        If the driver tells you so ?
        Do you believe in Compaq's goals
        Can software save your mortal soul
              And can you teach me how to
        type real slow ?
               Well I thought you said you
        were prepared 'Cause your memo said you
        weren't impaired
        Your stationery's swell
               But you can go to hell
        I was a lonely teenage Unix hack
        With an incantation and a modem jack
        but I knew the cat had left the sack
        The day computers died
               I started singin'...
        Bye, bye to the digits of Pi
        Ran my PC on some DC but the
        voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending
        e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day that they
        die, this will be the day that they die
               Now for 10 years we've ignored
        the threat
        And we haven't solved the problem yet
               But that's not how it used to be
        When the Luddites read for the
        king and queen
        with a light they filled with kerosene
               And some manuals they stole
        from you and me
               And while Bill Gates was
        looking pleased
        Time stole his monopolies
               The courtroom was adjourned
        No verdict was returned
               While Apple tried a color
        scheme
        The engineers returned to steam
        And we had purges of their dreams
        The day computers died
               We were singin'
               Bye, bye to the digits of Pi
               Ran my PC on some DC but the
        voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail
        replies
        Saying this will be the day that they
        die
        this will be the day that they die
               Intel inside in an iron
        smelter
               The food leftover from my
        fallout shelter
        Twinkies old and aging fast
               I'd rather eat the grass
        Q and A tried for a system crash
               With the tester on the
        sidelines in a cast
               Now the timeshare net was
        running Doom
        While mainframes played a marching tune
        We all tried to log in
        Oh, but we never could begin
               'Cause Cobol tried to take the
        field,
        And Hollerith refused to yield.
        Do you recall what was revealed,
        The day computers died?
               We started singing
               Bye, bye to the digits of Pi
               Ran my PC on some DC but the
        voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending
        e-mail replies
        Saying this will be the day that they
        die
        this will be the day that they die
               There we were all in a state
        A generation - really late
        With no time left to start again
               So come on mouse be nimble,
        mouse be quick
        Don't let my spreadsheet data
        stick
               'Cause data is the Devil's
        only friend.
               As I watched him on my screen
               My hands and face were
        drenched in steam
        No angel born in hell
               Could run that stupid shell
               And as the ball climbed high
        into the night
        To call the sacrificial night
               I saw Dick Clark laughing with
        delight the day computers died.
               I met a girl with a mobile
        phone
        And I asked her for a dial tone
        But she just smiled and turned away
               So I went down to the software
        store
        Where I'd seen computers years before
               But the man there said the
        games there wouldn't play
               And in the streets the
        children screamed
        The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
               No interface was spoken
        The Internet was broken
               And the three things I connect
        to most
        The Web site, LAN and the network host
        Every single one was toast
        The day computers died
               They were singin'
               Bye, bye to the digits of Pi
               Ran my PC on some DC but the
        voltage was dry
        And good ol' boys were sending e-mail
        replies
        Saying this will be the day that they
        die
        this will be the day that they die.



Kurgan                            mailto:Kurgan@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx