Re: [aclug-L] Aclug is Famous : Ask Humorix: Portal Mania (fwd)

["Clint A. Brubakken" <cabrubak@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Yeah, give the stock options, and nobody gets hurt!!


On Sun, 10 Jan 1999, phrostie wrote:

> ok, things are making sence now.
> the reason john is always late is because he's off counting money :-)
> i say the next meeting we ruff him up.
> and get our take.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> relax just joking
> 
> 
> phrostie
> 
> Clint A. Brubakken wrote:
> 
> > So John what about my stock options?
> >
> > ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> > Date: Mon, 18 Jan 1999 12:21:33 -0600
> > From: James Baughn <jbaughn@xxxxxxx>
> > To: humorix@xxxxxxxxxxx
> > Subject: [humorix] Ask Humorix: Portal Mania
> >
> > Ask Humorix: Portal Mania
> > January 18, 1999
> >
> > We here at Humorix have no qualms against stealing an idea
> > from Slashdot and twisting it for our own purposes.  In
> > that spirit, we present this first installment of "Ask
> > Humorix" in which the Humorix Oracle gives fake answers to
> > questions submitted by fake readers.
> >
> > Today's question, submitted by A. McJenkins: "I've been
> > watching the explosive growth of Internet stocks.  I'd like
> > to get in on this, but my brother says that the Net bubble
> > will soon burst.  What should I do?  Got any hot stock tips
> > to share?"
> >
> > The Humorix Oracle says:
> >
> > Dear Materialistic Supplicant,
> >
> > Your brother is wrong.  The explosive growth of high-tech
> > stocks will continue until all of the companies are
> > acquired by Microsoft.  Even though many Net companies have
> > shown little or no profit, they are backed by an endless
> > stream of investments from venture capitalists chanting
> > buzzwords like "portal", "new media", and "e-commerce".  My
> > advice: invest, invest, invest!
> >
> > I do have one hot stock tip for you.  The Air Capital Linux
> > Users Group will go public with its stock next week.  I
> > guarantee that this IPO will be the hottest of the year.
> > [The Humorix legal team wants to point out that this
> > guarantee is not valid in most states. -- The Editor]
> >
> > I'm sure you're scratching your head, wondering how a small
> > Linux LUG in Kansas has the potential to become a
> > multi-billion dollar company.  Simple: they have a portal.
> > The ACLUG Linux News[1] page -- a portal -- combines the
> > news headlines from Slashdot, LinuxToday, Freshmeat, and
> > others, in addition to the latest User Friendly and Dilbert
> > cartoons into one page.
> >
> > As history has shown, the stock price of any institution
> > maintaining anything remotely resembling a portal has
> > skyrocketed to unbelievable levels.  In today's economy, if
> > you create a portal, you're a billionaire instantly.  And
> > if you invest in a company with a portal, you can't
> > possibly lose.
> >
> > [The Oracle's recommendation of ACLUG is based on the
> > objective analysis of stock trends and other factors.  The
> > fact that ACLUG prominently displays Humorix headlines on
> > its "portal" page has absolutely no effect on the Oracle's
> > judgement in any way.  Or, at least, that's what he claims.
> > -- The Editor]
> >
> > You owe the Oracle an extra-large Slashdot T-shirt with the
> > slogan "I'm a Slashdot Longhair" on the back.
> >
> > [1] http://www.aclug.org/news/
> >
> > ---
> >
> > James "Slashdot Longhair" Baughn
> > http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux
> >
> > ---
> > This is the Air Capital Linux Users Group discussion list.  If you
> > want to unsubscribe, send the word "unsubscribe" to
> > aclug-L-request@xxxxxxxxxxxx.  If you want to post to the list, send your
> > message to aclug-L@xxxxxxxxxxxx.
> 
> 
> 
> --
> phrostie@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> 
> Oh I've slipped the surly bonds of dos
> and danced the skies on LINUX silvered wings.
> 
> 
> 

+-----------------------------------------------------+
| The Cheez-Czar  http://www.hackboy.com/~cabrubak    |
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