[linux-help] [Fwd: Moment In History - Off Topic]

[lowell <lowell@xxxxxxxxx>]

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Moment In History - Off Topic
Date: Sun, 4 Aug 2002 15:57:44 -0500
From: "Paul" <paul@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <kclug@xxxxxxxxx>



A rewrite of a famous moment in movie history

 

 

A furious light saber duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE

SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off

 

Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs

 

away . He looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

 

DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

 

DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!"

LUKE: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."

 

DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

 

LUKE: "NO!"

 

DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass

droid of

yours ?"

 

LUKE: "Threepio?"

 

DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."

 

LUKE: "No."

 

DARTH VADER: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no

hand , no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."

 

LUKE: "I worked hard on that moisture farm."

 

DARTH VADER: "What? Hauling buckets? I spent my childhood as a slave then

*real* Jedi training, not 'a few days in the swamp with Yoda'."

 

LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

 

DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed

a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

 

LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."

 

DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I

wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith..

waahhh wahhh!'"

 

LUKE: "Shut up."

 

DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had

exterminated the Jedi knights!"

 

LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

 

DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor . 10 years old, winner of the

Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"

 

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

 

DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are,

but you sure ain't mine."

 

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

 

Darth Vader looks after him.

DARTH VADER: "And get a haircut!"


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