[aclug-L] Greetings of the Holiday Kind

["Clint A Brubakken" <cabrubak@xxxxxxx>]

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my
friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to
know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my Solicitor yesterday, and on his
advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit,
my best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the year
end solstice holiday, practiced with the most
enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or
secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of
the onset of the generally accepted calendar year
2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of
choice of other cultures whose contributions to
society have helped make our country great (not to
imply that Portugal is necessarily greater than any
other country) and without regard to the race, creed,
colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or
sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these
terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or
withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her/himself or others and is void where
prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within
the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one year or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first,
and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer 1

No trees were harmed in the sending of this message.
However, a significant number of electrons were
slightly inconvenienced.

Disclaimer 2

Before acting on the contents of this bulletin, the
recipient should verify that the originator has the
appropriate authority and any person
neglecting to obtain such verification will be acting
entirely at his/her own risk.

Please further note that any confidential, private or
privileged information contained in the message is
subject to legal privilege.

But if you are still reading....

what I would really like to wish you is...

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

(in the interest of full disclosure I stole this off another mailing list,
but I'm sure he stole it from someone else)


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