[aclug-L] backup

[Craig Terhune <craigter@xxxxxxxxx>]

Y2K Backup

  While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000,  and
most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully
compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected
challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.

In a trend to get back to the basic we searched and found such a device.

 The "Y2K Backup System" device is designed to meet short time emergency
needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This
device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison
device (P.E.N.C.I.L.). This device is available from stores, or the front 
desk.
Please ask for it by its acronym code name P.E.N.C.I.L..  Pronunciation:
'pen(t)-s&l.

  This device has been field tested extensively, including certification
testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly maintained, the
device meets all the requirements for coding and data input. Prior to use,
the (P.E.N.C.I.L.) will require preparation and testing.

  Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding
device; and a supply of computer paper (with or without holes). Walls, 
Computer
chassis, floors, toilet paper, paper towels will be the back up for  Computer 
Paper.
otherwise known as other Pencil Acceptable Printing Enabled Recorder or
acronym PAPER.

  Gripping the device firmly in your hand, proceed to scrape or grind the
wooded end until it has a cone-like appearance. The dark core area must be
exposed to properly function. (Left-handed employees should read this sentence
backwards, and then go to your supervisor for assistance.)

  Place a single sheet of computer paper on a smooth, hard surface. Take
the backup device, place the sharpened point against the paper, and pull it
across the paper.

  If properly done, this will input a single line.

  You have completed the test for the Primary Emergency Network Computer
Interface Liaison device.

  CAUTION: Excessive force may damage components of the device or damage
the data reception device.    If either the P.E.N.C.I.L. or the paper are
damaged, go back to the preparation instructions above.

  Proper use of the device will require data simulation input by the
operator.

  Placing the device against the computer page forming symbols as closely
resembling the computer lettering system you normally use.

  At the completion of each of the simulated letters, lift the device off
the page, move it slightly to the right, replace it against the page, and
form the next symbol.

  This may appear tedious, and somewhat redundant, but, with practice, you
should be able to increase your speed and accuracy.

  The P.E.N.C.I.L. is also equipped with a manual deletion device. The
device is located on the reverse end of the P.E.N.C.I.L.

  If the Manual Deletion device does not have this, then you have a P.E.N.
a Microsoft product, please find a P.E.N.C.I.L..

  Error deletions operate similarly to the "backspace" key on your
computer.  Simply place the device against the erroneous data, and pull it 
backwards over the letters. This should remove the error, and enable you to 
resume
data entries.

  CAUTION: Excessive force may damage the data reception device.
Insufficient force, however, may result in less than acceptable deletion,
and may require re-initialization of action as above.

  This device is designed with user maintenance in mind.

  However, if technical support is required, you can still call your local
computer desk supervisor at 1-800-YOU-DUMMY.


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