[aclug-L] [k2gkk@xxxxxxxx: Year 2000 Problem?]

[Nate Bargmann <ka0rny@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Ok, I promise this will be the only like this I send to the List...

No Y2K problems here!

- Nate >>

----- Forwarded message from D C Macdonald <k2gkk@xxxxxxxx> -----

There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late
1990s.  For the sake of this story, we'll call him
Jack.  After years of being taken for granted and
treated as a technological dinosaur by all the UNIX
programmers and Client/Server programmers and website
developers, Jack was finally getting some respect.
He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year
2000 conversions.  He was working short-term assignments
for prestige companies, traveling all over the world on
different assignments. He was working 70 and 80 and even
90 hour weeks, but it was worth it.

Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had
taken its toll on Jack.  He had problems sleeping and
began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000.  It
had reached a point where even the thought of the year
2000 made him nearly violent.  He must have suffered some
sort of breakdown, because all he could think about was
how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with
it.

Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in
cryogenics.  He made a deal to have himself frozen until
March 15th, 2000.  This was a very expensive process and
totally automated.  He was thrilled.

The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year
2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer
debacles; after the leap day.

Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his
life.

He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians
set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his
heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that.

The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very
modern room filled with excited people.  They were all
shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and
"He's alive!".  There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever
seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a
science fiction movie.

Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group
stepped forward.  Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm.
"It is over?" he asked.  "Is 2000 already here?  Are all
the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over
and done with?"

The spokesman explained that there had been a problem
with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic
receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant.  It was
actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000.
But the spokesman told Jack that he shouldn't get
excited; someone important wanted to speak to him.

Suddenly a wall-sized projection screen displayed the
image of a man that looked very much like Bill Gates.
This man was Prime Minister of Earth.  He told Jack not
to be upset.  That this was a wonderful time to be alive.
That there was world peace and no more starvation.  That
the space program had been reinstated and there were
colonies on the moon and on Mars.  That technology had
advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual
reality interfaces which allowed them to contact
anyone else on the planet, or to watch any entertainment,
or to hear any music recorded anywhere.

"That sounds terrific," said Jack, "but I'm curious.  Why
is everybody so interested in me?"

"Well," said the Prime Minister, "the year 10000 is just
around the corner, and it says in your files that you
know COBOL."


----- End forwarded message -----

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