Complete.Org: Mailing Lists: Archives: discussion: November 1999:
[aclug-L] Microsoft vs. GM

[aclug-L] Microsoft vs. GM

[Top] [All Lists]

[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index] [Thread Index]
To: aclug-L@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [aclug-L] Microsoft vs. GM
From: Bruce Bales <bbales@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sun, 21 Nov 1999 21:20:19 -0600
Reply-to: aclug-L@xxxxxxxxxxxx

                                         MS vs. GM

                  At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the
                  computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM 
kept up with
                  technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving twenty-five
                  dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to
Bill's comments,
                  it is said that General Motors issued the following press
release, allegedly by
                  Mr. Welch himself:

                  If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars
                  with the following characteristics:

                  1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
                  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would
have to buy a
                  new car.
                  3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you
                  would just accept this, restart and drive on.
                  4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,
would cause your
                  car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you 
have to
                  reinstall the engine.
                  5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
reliable, five
                  times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only
run on five percent
                  of the roads.
                  6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced
                  by a single "general car default" warning light.
                  7. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
                  8. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going
                  9. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and
                  refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door
handle, turn the key,
                  and grab hold of the radio antenna.
                  10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand
                  McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need
                  them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
                  cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM
                  would become a target for investigation by the Justice
                  11. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have
to learn
                  how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the
                  same manner as in the old car.

[Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread]